tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post4311395441361668682..comments2023-08-22T11:00:08.809-04:00Comments on Loose Ends: Homemaking with RoommatesPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556860299477514075noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-81699845113430904052009-05-05T21:14:00.000-04:002009-05-05T21:14:00.000-04:00Oh, gosh, roommates. I remember some of the greate...Oh, gosh, roommates. I remember some of the greatest ugliness of my life was perpetrated on my roommates (or by them), and it was always, ALWAYS related to homemaking issues. And yet some of the best times were times with them. It's such a weird, unique kind of relationship. <br /><br />And I was fortunate enough to live with a bona fide clean freak for a while. Man, I never lived so well.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02551872881971981258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-12128425053421821632009-05-04T12:16:00.000-04:002009-05-04T12:16:00.000-04:00I don't think you necessarily have to have a "fami...I don't think you necessarily have to have a "family" to write about homemaking. <br />Homemaking is something we all need advice about.johnmichaelhttp://openawindow.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-30482961728845180502009-05-03T11:07:00.000-04:002009-05-03T11:07:00.000-04:00Marta: I KNOW, we have so much to discuss. By the...Marta: I KNOW, we have so much to discuss. By the way, I agree with you, that if homemaking became valued the way it ought to be, more men and women would allow themselves to choose it as their vocation, and more people would make more time for it in their lives. Can't wait to see you. <br /><br />Greg: part of the fun of getting to know you in the last year, especially in the last few months, has been watching the very conscious, contemplative way you've constructed your nest. Now that the gardening season is upon you, it's clear that your zest for the work is not tempered by the same questions and difficulties you were facing last year. That's great to see, and it must feel even better. <br /><br />Jeff: Ah my dear, thank you. As with Greg, I've watched you take big, deliberate steps in building a home for yourself and Meggie, emotionally, spiritually and physically. As an outside observer, it seems to me the two of you are already building the home that works best for you both. Whether it has gothic pickets or not, it already expresses who you are, crows, rocker chics, batman and all. <br /><br />Birdie: I'd forgotten about him! Yes, I'm Colonel Flagg, though I've so far not felt it necessary to break my leg jumping through windows. <br />Yes, protecting my heart is probably part of what is at work here, though I hope that doesn't shut me down too much (it's a tricky balance). Mostly I guess I'm maintaining a certain level of freedom and space that makes a long term arrangement possible. I liken it to the cordial but circumspect relationship I have with my neighbors; because we are all crammed together in such a small space (building, block, street, city), it's necessary to give each other as much psychic space as possible, while still being friendly. <br /><br />GayProf: I spent three months living alone after my relationship ended, before economic realities demanded I get a roommate. I'd never lived alone before, and unfortunately I LOVED it. It's just not a financial option for me at this point. As compromises go, this isn't bad, though. I know lots of New Yorkers who share one bedrooms, even STUDIOS, with roommates. I think if a curtain was all I had between me and the rest of the world, I'd go a little nuts. <br /><br />Jeaux: actually, I had a roommate like that in Seattle too. It was kind of sweet; whenever he speculated about the future, the one constant was always that we would still be living together. We'd each have a partner, probably kids, but the two of us were going to be together forever. Not how it turned out, of course, and he's living a much more traditional life with a wife and kids, but it was interesting to have that time with him. More than one girlfriend had a little trouble figuring out exactly what we were to each other. For whatever reason my boyfriends usually got it more easily. It was maybe my first experience of the bromance; I didn't want to sleep with him, but we definitely had a bond that was loving, even passionate. <br /><br />I ADORE Swiffer! In fact, it may figure in another entry very soon. I too have moved it to my homemaking inner circle.Patrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10556860299477514075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-72396548126661027672009-05-02T13:21:00.000-04:002009-05-02T13:21:00.000-04:00I've been enjoying this series, Patrick; I think t...I've been enjoying this series, Patrick; I think this one is even better than your last, though it did set the groundwork. There is so much here to think about, and that you've stimulated me to write about. For starters<br /><br />"And I’ve been making do with this situation assuming that eventually my real home would just show up, somehow. Frankly, that’s the same as waiting for one’s ‘real life’ to show up. This is it. You’re doing it right now, Sparky."<br /><br />A landmark epiphany. I think it's the heart of the matter. In order for the making to take place you have to be settled in your soul that you are in some sense home, if not necessarily at your final destination.<br /><br />During my decade and a half in Manhattan, my roommate/dwelling habits tended to favor the other side of the equation. The long-running relationship (as our boyfriends came and went) with my roommate <A HREF="http://somewherejoe.blogspot.com/2008/01/black-wednesday.html" REL="nofollow">Bill</A> was the house through which various apartments flowed. It wasn’t until I moved to Staten Island, and my apartment overlooking the harbor, that I felt I’d come to something resembling the “home” whose paradigm dwelt in my soul, and the "making" began.<br /><br />By the way, have you tried Swiffer? I love all their products! It started with the duster. I’m so fond of it that it has migrated from housework tool to a place in my homemaking inner circle.Joe Jubinvillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09489419756833657839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-79694459683717989262009-05-02T12:46:00.000-04:002009-05-02T12:46:00.000-04:00I avoid roommates. Living with somebody I actuall...I avoid roommates. Living with somebody I actually loved was hard enough.GayProfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11289510184782252498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-66871363707351646672009-05-02T08:39:00.000-04:002009-05-02T08:39:00.000-04:00If you're the wind, you must be Colonel Flagg. ("I...If you're the wind, you must be <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Sidney_Freedman#Sam_Flagg" REL="nofollow">Colonel Flagg.</A> ("I have no home. I am the wind.")<br /><br />Having roommates is an interesting dynamic I've never dealt with. It seems to me there has to be an alpha for there to be order, and in this case you're it. You seem to know where to draw the line in order to avoid intimacy. I can see why you'd protect your heart as they come into and go out of your life.Birdiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12852713057094279347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-53089918041144295022009-05-01T10:20:00.000-04:002009-05-01T10:20:00.000-04:00Patrick! Two things:
Uno) Your experiences are e...Patrick! Two things:<br />Uno) Your experiences are exactly why it's so important you have a voice in a discussion on homemaking. You care, and you represent we none-white-picket-fencers beautifully. Even if I one day get a white-picket fence (it'll have Gothic pickets), I'll value that voice. And<br />B) Thank you for making me think about homemaking. It's very, very important.Jeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02728223817801458234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-4135926961635472302009-05-01T00:47:00.000-04:002009-05-01T00:47:00.000-04:00Oh, this is so great. You and Marta are hitting a...Oh, this is so great. You and Marta are hitting a lot of high notes here (<I>but the two of you have kept me up too late to also read Johanna's til tomorrow</I>). I especially like the direction you seem to be headed.<br /><br />"I'm like the wind, Dude" ?! <br /><br />Killing me with laughter there. :)Greghttp://midnightgarden12.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21736689.post-77706887326619844542009-04-30T22:28:00.000-04:002009-04-30T22:28:00.000-04:00oh, patrick of my heart! i just can't wait to SEE...oh, patrick of my heart! i just can't wait to SEE you this summer so we can really talk. it's too late, and i've been writing too much today, to try to be at all coherent, except to say DUDE! that's exactly right! bloom where you're planted (or, in the alternative, move the hell to philadelphia!)<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br />martaMartahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14494813731003889158noreply@blogger.com