She: Happy Valentine's Day!
He: Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetie!
She: What are you doing today?
He: Oh, I've got a meeting with a gallery owner! She's thinking about representing me!
She: That's great!
He: Yeah... but it sucks I have to be here on Valentine's Day.
She: Yeah. I miss you.
He: No kisses for me today.
She: Maybe you should kiss the gallery owner. She might like that.
He: I don't think that would be very professional.
She: You never know. It might close the deal.
He: Mm-hm. What are you doing tonight?
She: Oh, Patrick is making me dinner.
He: That's nice.
She: Yes. I'm bringing dessert.
He: So there might be some kisses for you tonight, huh?
He: ......Patrick is gay, right?
(Me: That's right, Sparky.
At least that's what I want you to think.)
(Mmm, kiwi-scented lip balm...)